By Andrea Davidson, MSW – Social Worker in Montreal
Summer in Montreal can feel like a gift — longer days, time off work, family visits, and vacations. But for many people, more time with family can also mean more tension. Whether you’re hosting out-of-town guests, coordinating blended family trips, or balancing co-parenting schedules, summer can push your boundaries in ways you might not expect. If you’ve ever found yourself feeling drained, resentful, or on edge after a family get-together, you’re not alone — and you’re not a bad person for wanting more breathing room.
Why Summer Can Trigger Family Stress
Big family gatherings often come with old dynamics. Even when you love your family, you might notice old roles resurfacing, new disagreements about money or activities, or pressure to say “yes” when you’re really feeling “no.” Add to that the costs of travel, shared accommodations, or coordinating different needs, and it’s easy to see why many people feel overwhelmed during Montreal’s peak holiday season.
How to Know You Need Boundaries
- You feel obligated to host or entertain when you’d rather rest.
- Family comments or criticism leave you feeling drained or small.
- Old conflicts resurface, and you can’t enjoy your time together.
- You feel resentful because your needs aren’t being respected.
Noticing these signs is the first step in protecting your peace.
Practical Ways to Set Family Boundaries This Summer
1. Clarify What’s Okay and What’s Not
Before a family visit or vacation, check in with yourself: What’s your capacity? How much time, energy, or financial expense feels fair to you? Be honest — you’re allowed to choose what works best for you and your immediate family.
2. Communicate Your Needs Clearly
When you know your limits, share them kindly but firmly. “I’d love to see you, but I can only host for two nights,” or “We can join for dinner, but we won’t be staying overnight.” Clear boundaries prevent resentment later.
3. Release the Guilt
Remember: it’s not selfish to have boundaries — it’s healthy. Setting limits protects your well-being, which allows you to show up more present and loving for the moments that really matter.
4. Have an Exit Plan
Sometimes you can’t avoid a difficult gathering. Plan ahead: decide how long you’ll stay, have a reason to leave, and check in with a supportive friend or partner if you feel overwhelmed.
5. Seek Support If You Need It
If family dynamics feel especially heavy — old wounds, toxic patterns, or conflicts that don’t change — therapy can help you process those feelings, practice boundary-setting, and build tools for future visits.
You’re Not Alone — Support Is Available
Setting family boundaries takes practice and courage. As a social worker in Montreal, I help people navigate the complicated mix of love, guilt, and obligation that family can bring — especially during the busy summer months. If you’re ready to protect your peace, I’m here to help.
Reach out today for a free consultation — let’s work together to make your summer feel calmer, clearer, and more aligned with what you need.